24 January 2011
what would you feel if your beloved dearest baby treated you like as if you don't even exist between the both of you? that's how i'm feeling right now. two more days to our first month yet i still don't feel important to you. yea i know okay i know how important your friends are. they're like the whole world to you. and i'm like nothing to you? yes i get it. we were friends and we could've stay that way. but no i didn't want to. i loved you and i'm always the only on working out for this relationship. and no i don't tell you how hurt i am now. 'cus it's like as if you cared? idk. i cried. the whole day. but did you even bother? i've always thought you're gonna be much better than my pasts. i've always thought you'd understand my feelings better. i guess i was wrong. your actions shows. you're not even serious abt this relationship. so why did you keep me? now i'm hung up in suspense 'cus you're bringing me in and you're kicking me out again. sometimes i felt like giving up but people told me "If you're gonna keep giving up in relationships, till forever you won't find your one and only." i know love happens all the time but i'm a sucka for that 'cus i always end up feeling cheated. i know i'm not needed. 'cus there's a dozen million girls who could replace me easily. i was always thinking abt you. abt me. abt us. but d'you? :( i'm in a phobia state of falling in love again. i don't wanna end up failing in my relationships like before. i want this situation to change. if you want me but you don't need me then i'd rather leave. but if you don't want me but you need me then i'm always gonna stay. i'm in the center of a path. lost. which way should i go? to the left where nothing's right or to the right where there's nothing left? i don't understand you. i don't feel belonging to you. i loved you. yes i did. and i am loving you. but you don't. my 26th is just a dream. :'(Forever doesn't exist in my dictionary.
Labels: why shits happens to me all the time?
