30 October 2010
basically i'm feeling so down now. idk why. i've been waiting for someone's call or just a text. it just doesn't seem to happen. i just had a thought. people i love nowadays doesn't feel the same way abt me anymore. i'm just nobody to them. kan kan? you don't hafta pretend 'cus it's pretty obvious. i can't make people happy. i can't give them what they expected from me. i can't takecare of them like how they took care of me. I'M USELESS NOW. hate me okay? :') today ♥♥ should have end his camp at 10:00am. but still, i didn't receive any texts or call from him. just that one small matter brought me down the whole day. tsk. ahsal eh? setakat diye tak call tak text aku jadi moody sampai gini mcm. :/ suprisingly, i received a text from thaqif at 07:04am. setakat 'Yo.' aje? haha. too bad. prepaid mati so takle reply. i'm suppose to go to the hospital today. but i don't want to. i'm just not prepared for any operations or surgeries or whatever. i wanna be with the people. i still have so much to do. i have already planned for the future ahead. there's still so much things for me to change. why is it happening now? thaqif left me, my sickness came. tried to be happy with ♥♥ but it doesn't seem to happen. and nowwwww. hmph. why is my life so difficult for me to handle? :'( i'm not strong enough to go through this. i need a hug badly now. i need a shoulder to cry on. i need someone to tell me that everything's gonna be okay. i need someone to kiss on my forehead and tell me that he/she will always be here by my side no matter what. if you're not willing to do it for me, well it's okay. 'cus i know who i am to everyone now. takecare all.
♥♥, if you're reading this ;
it's just so simple how you walked into my life. change everything and made my life a happier one. but now. it's just so simple how you walked out of it & leave everything to me. i'm sorry if i've get you involved in everything that's happening to me now. i'm sorry if i've been sucha nuisance to you. after all, i know what's my position. i'm just another friend. thank you for always being there for me. thank you for wiping off the tears when i cried. thank you for taking good care of me. basically thank you for everything. i love you as high as Heaven's seventh floor. xoxo, goodbye.
Labels: Guys are liars.
