31 October 2010
i was thinking abt you. thinking abt me. thinking abt us. idk what's gonna happen tomorrow. & the future ahead. will you still be here? will you still care like you always did? will you stay by my side forever? :/ no i don't think so. i just don't deserve you. why did you hafta disappear afta all the bestest memories we've created? tsk. you're already asleep & i'm still here, afraid of losing you any moment in time. i'll just hafta pray to Allah. that's my only hope. hate to say ; I miss Thaqif. whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. hmph. i just read his blog. yes he's old bloggg. he doesn't have the time to update it anymore. it's been decades he didn't update it. still those are memories he wrote abt us. didn't he remember everything we've went through together? didn't he had a second thought abt how we could actually change things the way they are now? or maybe. this is just too late. i'm giving up in relationships. i don't wanna fall in love. i don't wanna shed anymore tears for guys who doesn't deserve my best but only my bloody middle finger -'-. thanks Thaqif. it's 'cus of you i don't wanna fall in love again. it's 'cus of you, my fourth one, i had a thought that ALL GUYS HAVE THE FCKING SAME ATTITUDE. i'm sorry guys. i just felt that way. blame him for all the hurts will you? i'm done with everything. being in a relationship is just so stupid. you're my worse mistake, Thaqif. my fcking worse mistake.i'm sorry. for now. i'm only keeping a crush. idk if this will be the last or is this just another guy who would eventually break my heart over and over again. life without someone who really understands us is just so difficult till you thought of committing suicide. sometimes i would like to fake my death & watch my funeral just to see who truly gives a fck abt me. i'll do it. soon. :/ goodmorning.
♥♥, yes i really love you. x'(
Labels: I realized it was only just a dream.
