21 September 2010
lyfe is miserable. yes it really is. my emotions & feelings are mixed up lyke rojak, & i don't understand myself anymore. why eh? i don't know how to smile anymore. i don't wanna live. i don't wanna be here. i don't belong here. i don't get this lyfe. i don't know why am i living for. sometimes i would wanna lay down in bed , close my eyes & never wake up. i wanna give up. i don't know YOU. sometimes i would wanna lay down in bed, close my eyes & never wake up. i can lie to you, but i can't lie to myself . my heart & feelings, i can't lie to them. my heart is still here for you, but it's not beating. idk why, i feel so dead. i wanna be in another world. with you. no one else. i wanna be loveddddd. i wanna feel real warm hugs. i wanna feel infinite kisses. i wanna feel love. i wanna be in a world where there's only US. i wanna be in a lyfe that last forever for me to get to know you better. i need a lifetime to know you. i need a lifetime to know who i really am in your lyfe. i can't hear your heartbeat anymore, it doesn't sound so belong. why? why? why? i'm losing strength. i'm losing hopes. i'm losing love. i'm losing life. i'm losing you. no, i can't take it anymore. i'm suffering. i'm hurting.
"Ya Allah, pls give me strength. I don't wanna suffer anymore. I don't wanna cry anymore. Ya Allah, I'm weak. Pls show me the right path, where I should be. No, I shouldn't be here. Allah, only you know how I felt going through all these unexpected obstacles. I wanna smile, again. Ya Allah, pls help me. :'( "
Labels: i cry a bucket yet i'm still not strong enough.
